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Sunday, August 11, 2013
The Pastor's Viewpoint
I think a sense of humor is fundamental to one’s personal health. Since my "viewpoints" can be a bit heavy at times, I thought it wise to take a break from such reflections and share with you some witticisms from past and present commentators on our human condition. I hope you enjoy them.
"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." Ingrid Bergman
"If your prayers were always answered, you’d have reason to doubt the wisdom of God." Unknown
"I’m now at an age where I have to prove that I’m as good as I never was."
"I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again." Casey Stengel
"At my age, flowers scare me." George Burns
"When I told my psychiatrist that nobody listened to me, he shouted, ‘Next!’ Henny Youngman
"I envy paranoids; they actually think that people are paying attention to them." Susan Sontag
"Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter.’" Andy Rooney
"Make someone happy today: mind your own business." Ann Landers
"War is a cowardly escape from the problems of peace." Thomas Mann
"The reason that there are two senators from each state is so that one can be the designated driver." Jay Leno
"A fool and his money are soon elected." Will Rogers
"I want to be buried in Chicago so I can stay active in politics." Mark Russell
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met." Steven Wright
"Einstein’s original theory of relativity is that time slows down when you are with relatives." Garrison Keillor
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." Calvin and Hobbes
"Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed." Lily Tomlin
"A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they get a job." Zig Ziglar
And lastly, from Jonathan Winters of recent memory, "If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it."